I recently did a quick audit of the source code I help maintain/develop for the company I work for. By which I mean, I spent the last part of a Friday searching through our code for funny words.

I decided to open up by looking for traditional profanities - a commonly-accepted method of gauging the state of a project (see: profanities in the Linux kernel, graphed over time and a quick look at the Win2k source).

Below, I provide a list of my findings, with a few examples. Enjoy a look at the source code of a functioning product with many users!

Disclaimer: if any of the words that you are about to read will offend you, then don't read them.

The classics

I started off by looking for looking for the current English classics:

Fuck: 6 times. Example:

// If they had any unsaved changes, they're pretty much fucked, because
// this customer has apparently been modified by another screen.

Shit: 10

// For now, I believe that all the data is updated on the fly, so saving first is not
// necessary, but maybe we should just for shits and giggles

Crap: 22 The expletive for the more vocabulary-sensitive programmer!

//!!! It was late, we were tired, so I hacked this crap together !!!
// What the crap does this button do? - I disabled it because I think that this button
// is misleading and confusing

Hell: 1

// If it wasn't any of the valid options, then get the hell out

Insults

It's usually another programmer's fault.

Stupid: 75 The code is stupid, the users are stupid, other developers are stupid. According to the comments, at least.

// Clear out year if it is a stupid number
// Here we tell the user they are stupid when they do stupid things
// If the user forgets to specify a table, gently remind them that it's a good idea,
// then return
// When you minimize, it tells you you're size 0 now.  That seems stupid, ignore it
// Die, stupid message boxes
TRACE("Stupid quickbooks.\n");
IQBBasePtr stupid = response->GetDetail();
TRACE("Response Type: %d\n", (int)stupid->Type->GetValue());
InterpretResponse(stupid);
// Thigs are different (stupid) without this flag.  I don't currently support its omission

Dumb: 17

// There was some seriously wacky code here earlier including a really dumb memory leak.
// I tested my changes and they seem to work fine, nevertheless, I wasn't able
// to fully understand what this code was attempting to do so I may have missed
// some obscure feature.

Retarded: 4

// Because CStrings are retarded and don't do well with binary data, we have to copy the
// data in to the query in a rather inconvenient manner.

Idiot: 2

// Else politely inform the user that they are an idiot

Hack: 6

// Look at the first part of the label to find the operation (this is a sort of
// dirty hack so that) we don't have to change the database.

Incredulity

Really?

Why: 84 The only word with a higher count than "stupid" - there is always more for a programmer to learn. Or speculate on. Or rage at.

//!!! For some reason ODBC crashes at this point if you've already done a query !!!
//!!! I can't really figure out why !!!
// Not sure why we would want to do bitwise operations...
// WHy doesn't this exist?
// I don't see why we'd do this
// CRH asks: Why do we use Format() instead of "="? Can't we assume that it's slower?
// JDD Answers: what Formats?  What are you talking about?  You crazy, Charles!
// Removed 2006.02.17 - This makes it so that negative balances show up positive.
// I am not sure sure why it was ever here.
// This doesn't seem to work.  I'm not sure why

wtf: 25 Often heard expressed verbally by developers reading code.

catch (...)
{
    TRACE("Seriously, wtf\n");
    // sic vita est
}
// Sort the incoming files alphabetically (windows sometimes reverses the order (wtf?)

Random

Ridiculous: 2 When three syllables just isn't enough.

// Make the quantity not have ridiculous decimal places

Pants: 3

That's right, and all 3 times inside of a static string, too!

strPCProductCode = GetInitSetting(__MASTERWND, "session", "productcode", "pants");

That fourth argument is the default value, returned if there is no existing setting with that name. So... yeah.

lol: 3

// lol xor
if ((bPaid || bUnpaid) && !(bPaid && bUnpaid))

lulz: 1

// Half implemented, lulz

A few other gems

Ebonics?

// If shift was already depressed, fo' real, don't screw that up

Obvious mental deterioration:

// A grape typed this line in:
//9

And... uh... this was at the bottom of a header file...

// Standardized code makes him happy!
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;                        ;;
;;        ;;;;;;;;        ;;
;;       ;;      ;;       ;;
;;      ;; ;;  ;; ;;      ;;
;;      ;;        ;;      ;;
;;      ;;    ;   ;;      ;;
;;      ;;        ;;      ;;
;;      ;; ;;;;;; ;;      ;;
;;       ;;  ;;  ;;       ;;
;;        ;;;;;;;;        ;;
;;                        ;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

// Non-Standardized code makes him sad!
// And keeps him up all night, screaming
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;                        ;;
;;        ;;;;;;;;        ;;
;;       ;;;    ;;;       ;;
;;      ;; /*\/*\ ;;      ;;
;;      ;; \_/\_/ ;;      ;;
;;      ;;   ^^   ;;      ;;
;;      ;; /****\ ;;      ;;
;;      ;; \****/ ;;      ;;
;;       ;;      ;;       ;;
;;        ;;;;;;;;        ;;
;;                        ;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

8-|

So, yeah...

Found any entertaining metadata in code? Link me!